Wherever you are today — in your career, in your business, in life — chances are, there was a time when this point was just a dream. You looked into the future into this moment and thought: “If only I could get to this point, I’d be set.”
Then you did it. And almost immediately, your goalpost moved.
At first, you may have wanted a million-dollar firm. Then, after reaching that milestone, you decided to aim for $2 million or even $5 million. When you got to that point, a milestone that once felt like a long shot felt small, and you started setting goals that you previously didn’t even dream about. I’ve met billionaires who felt inadequate next to other billionaires because they “only” had one or two billion, and the other person had more.
It never ends. That’s the nature of comparison. It’s a game you can’t win — because the rules are designed for you to lose.
Comparison, as they say, is the thief of joy. But it doesn’t have to be. The key is who you compare yourself to.
When you start comparing yourself to everyone else, you’re surrendering control over your own satisfaction. You’re tying your happiness to someone else’s journey and to metrics you don’t fully understand.
What you see from the outside is never the full story. That law firm you think is crushing it? They might not be profitable. (I’ve seen the behind-the-scenes more than once.) That business owner whose success you envy? They might be on the verge of burnout. Their personal life may be in shambles. Their kids may barely know them.
You don’t see the messy bits on LinkedIn. You just see the shiny surface, and you don’t think about the negatives while wishing you could trade places with that person. If you knew past the tip of the iceberg they’re choosing to showcase, you may abandon that thought in a heartbeat.
The only comparison that truly serves you is the one you make with yourself.
Are you better than you were yesterday? Are you doing work you’re proud of? Are you getting closer to your full potential? Those are the questions that matter.
When you use comparison as a tool to reach your full potential, it stops killing your joy and starts pushing you to achieve more without making you not appreciate what you already have.
It’s healthy to be inspired by others. It’s even common advice to help boost productivity and ambition: Surround yourself with people you admire and look up to.
But when you let comparison dictate your sense of worth, you lose focus on what’s real and actually within your control.
The real goal isn’t to have more than someone else. It’s to become more of who you’re capable of being.
When you stop trying to keep up with the Joneses, you finally start to move at the only pace that matters: your own.
