So you have a team member who has become a bit unruly to manage — maybe out of nowhere, or maybe little by little.
They’re disrespectful. They don’t follow the directives as they should. They create friction in the team.
You’re wondering how you could deal with their behavior in a way that’s not too harsh or punitive.
This is a hard truth to swallow, but an unruly team member and continuous drama in your organization always comes down to you, simply because what you’re allowing, you’re endorsing.
I often hear leaders complain about drama on their teams. But drama doesn’t appear and spread out of nowhere. It’s often (though unintentionally) reinforced by leadership.
Imagine this: Someone on your team walks into your office and says, “Guess what Lucy said?” If you respond with, “What did she say?” you may not realize it, but what you’ve just done is signal to this person that you’re interested in talking about drama and interpersonal relationships at work.
Now, if you respond with, “That doesn’t really concern me,” and politely encourage them to return to work, you will send a very different message. They’ll know that you don’t validate disruptions and useless gossiping at work.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t have empathy for your team members. It simply means that execution comes above all. You’re building a team to win, not a social club to host grievances.
When the focus shifts from doing great work to managing emotions, gossip, and side conversations, performance suffers, business slows down, friction increases, and suddenly everyone feels busy but nothing meaningful gets done.
It’s about setting a productive standard.
When standards aren’t enforced, high performers feel punished for doing the right thing while low performers feel emboldened to keep pushing boundaries — and that’s how workplace culture erodes.
Keep in mind that it’s human nature to always test boundaries. Think of kids or pets, for example. If either of them does something you don’t approve of, the worst thing you can do is turn the other way. That will signal to them that this is something they can do and get away with.
You’d think adults are different, but they’re not. In a workplace setting, they too test where their line is and how much they can get away with. This is usually not in a negative or malicious sense at all. It’s simply the way we are wired: to seek out and learn our standing in a given situation.
So when inappropriate behavior shows up on your team — whether it’s gossip, disrespect, or ignoring directives — you can’t let it linger. Address it privately, clearly, calmly yet firmly, and most importantly, immediately.
Waiting until later sends the message that the behavior wasn’t that serious.
And if it wasn’t that serious, why would it stop?
It might seem tough, but leadership isn’t about being liked by everyone. Your duty is to the performance of your organization first, and its culture second. It’s your job to create order, alignment, and momentum. You have to ensure that the team can execute at a high level, go home on time, take care of their families, and return the next day, ready to win again.
If you avoid uncomfortable conversations as a leader, chaos will fill the gaps, and eventually, inmates will start running the asylum.
So if there are workplace issues with one or two of your team members, you have a choice: tolerate the noise, accept the drama, and wonder why things never seem to move forward, or set clear expectations, enforce standards consistently, and build a culture where only performance gets rewarded.
Because order doesn’t happen by accident. It’s enforced — and the moment you stop enforcing it is the moment you lose control.
