You’re in the thick of building a business, or maybe you’ve just launched one, and it’s going great. But it’s taking a lot of your free time, and suddenly you start to feel a little lonely at the top.
Some might tell you you’ve overprioritized work or that this is simply the price you pay for success. I’d say differently. To me, things like this are a sign that you need to level up your inner circle.
It’s not because anyone did anything wrong, but because growth reshapes your interests, your focus, and even the kind of conversations you crave.
Sometimes we tell ourselves we just need “more time with friends.” But after finally carving out that time, we sit across the table and feel disconnected. You’re thinking about culture, leadership, scaling, hiring, and the next strategic move…while they may be talking about collecting beer stamps at Buffalo Wild Wings.
Both of those things are okay. Your friends’ different interests are valid. They just don’t align with yours anymore.
It’s only natural to gravitate toward people who understand what you’re going through. So when you’re going through a singular experience of building something, it’s natural to want connections with people who have firsthand experience with the pressure, the responsibility, the constant challenges, the trade-offs, and so on. People who get why you’re thinking about margins at midnight or reworking a pitch deck during brunch and won’t judge you or make you feel bad for it.
No, being a CEO doesn’t mean all of your social conversations need to be about business. They often aren’t.
What matters isn’t the topic. It’s the shared wavelength.
Whether you’re watching Formula 1 races and trading lap-time screenshots like it’s breaking news or swapping business experiences and breakthroughs, the underlying bond is the same: You both know what it feels like to have been “to war and back.” You respect each other because you’re fighting similar battles.
They say you can be surrounded by dozens of people and still feel lonely. That’s because loneliness doesn’t come from the quantity of your connections, but from their quality.
When you surround yourself with people who understand where you’re going, the loneliness fades. Suddenly, you’re surrounded not by people who chide you for missing brunch, but those who understand without words why you have to and want to support you however they can to see you succeed further.
I had dinner plans with a friend who’s an entrepreneur of a $400 million company. But the day of, I realized I was buried under too much work. I reached out to explain myself and cancel. Within a few words, he stopped me, said his workday was also extremely full, and offered to reschedule — guilt-free.
That’s what alignment looks like: support, not pressure; understanding, not obligation.
So if you’re feeling disconnected, stretched, or misunderstood, consider this: Maybe nothing is wrong with you. Maybe you’re just growing, so the life and people you had before no longer fit quite right. Maybe it’s simply time to level up your peer group to one that fills you up, not drains you.
Because the people you surround yourself with shape your energy, your mindset, and your future. Choose those who rise and grow with you, pushing you to win.
When your circle evolves, you evolve, and life gets richer, lighter, and a lot less lonely.
