We live in a world where leaders are told to be more likable, more careful, and more agreeable. They have to say the right thing, smile the right way, and try never to rock the boat.
But I’m here to make a bold statement: The more you try to please everyone, the fewer people will believe you.
Why? Because chances are, in trying to appease everyone, you have stopped being your authentic self.
Think about politicians on the campaign trail. Regardless of the political party, they’re often guilty of doing this. They tailor one speech to one audience and another to the next. After a while, you can’t even tell what they truly believe.
That’s the danger of trying to please everyone: You become so cautious that nobody knows or believes what you truly stand for. You stop being a leader with a vision and start sounding like someone who just wants applause.
Leadership isn’t about being reckless or deliberately offensive. It’s not about doubling down on arrogance and calling it “authenticity.” But some leaders spend so much time absorbing LinkedIn think pieces and tiptoeing around trigger words that they lose all confidence in their actual beliefs. They want to avoid offending someone so much so that they strip their sentences of conviction and confidence, sounding less like people and more like AI chatbots: safe, sanitized, and rarely (if ever) contradicting you.
Yes, words matter, and making adjustments to be respectful to people’s valid sensitivities is a good thing. But when you overcorrect, you don’t come across as thoughtful. You come across as hollow.
The truth is, if no one ever disagrees with you, it’s probably because you haven’t said anything worth remembering.
So how can you strike the right balance as a leader?
It’s not about being abrasive for the sake of being “real,” nor is it about becoming so neutral that your personality disappears altogether.
True authenticity means allowing yourself an actual perspective. It means being willing to sometimes take a position that might not resonate with everyone. It doesn’t mean you have to be dismissive, cruel, or offensive to the people you rely on. But you must be willing to put your actual beliefs out into the world, knowing full well that not everyone will agree.
Leadership is not a solo act. It requires you to have a team, trust, and collaboration. When you show up as yourself, people know where you stand, what you believe in, and that they can trust your word — which will build loyalty. If you dilute yourself in an attempt to please everyone, you’ll instead end up being forgotten and even distrusted.
Think of marketing. Brands that try to appeal to too many clients by creating generic messages fail to attract any. But those that instead target a smaller base they know will love their product end up with loyal and lifelong customers.
Now, try to recall famous politicians. On both sides, you’ll find shining stars of their party who get endlessly re-elected and hold national attention. Every single time, they have as many loyal haters as they have loyal fans.
Why? Because they know: it’s more important to be themselves than it is to be liked by everyone.
Leadership is much the same. If you want to make an impact — whether it’s in your business, your team, or your community — you need to decide what you stand for and be willing to own it. Some people are guaranteed not to like it, but the ones who do will follow you anywhere.
You had a vision that got you from nothing to a firm owner. Your opinions and perspectives amounted to a successful business. Don’t forget that the next time you have to choose between authenticity and popularity.
Real leaders aren’t ruled by (the fear of) crowds. They’re followed and admired by them.
And those who stand for nothing, don’t lead. They drift.
