There are many law firm owners out there — especially those who started practicing 10, 20, even 30 years ago — who think that vulnerability equals weakness. They think that as a leader, if they ever admit to having been wrong or needing help, they’ll lose the respect of their peers and their teams.
If this is you, listen up.
This mindset is not only obsolete but potentially the cause of that same distrust and disrespect that you were trying to avoid in the first place.
As I often say, leadership isn’t a one-man show.
It requires a team, and a team requires trust and collaboration. One way to guarantee you don’t have any of those things is by lying and embellishing with fake positivity when you could be building trust with vulnerability and authenticity.
Imagine you’ve received some bad news about your organization. The numbers don’t look so great, the growth has slowed more than you expected, new cases aren’t lining up behind your law firm’s doors, and so on. You’re going into a meeting with your team, but you’re somewhat worried about your firm’s future acceleration.
One way you can handle that is by being the “strong boss.” Tell your team that everything looks good and there’s nothing to worry about. In three months, however, if your fears end up fulfilling and distant worries become new realities, you’ll be looking at a room full of angry team members you’ve just blindsided after first telling them everything was alright.
The result is they feel like they weren’t given any time to prepare for these changes. They’ve lost trust in your word, and as a result they feel less respect toward you.
So what’s the right way to handle bad news instead? It’s not by walking into a conference room, panicking, and freaking everyone out. You do have to be a rock for your team. But you can also be honest with them, finding a healthy balance between needless panic and fake positivity.
Remember, you hired your team members because they’re smart, talented, capable, and hardworking adults who can handle hard news. Keep that in mind as you communicate your worries with them with calm, honesty, and vulnerability.
If instead of lying to them you share your worries while reassuring them you’re doing everything you can, you will not only end up earning more respect for your difficult honesty, but possibly even a solution.
People want to help those they relate to and empathize with — those who show up authentically and without ego, asking for help. Sure, not everyone on your team will fall in line during these rough waters, and plenty might choose to hop off the ship. But you’ll gain loyal and trusted colleagues in those who remain.
Chances are your team already knows when something’s wrong in the organization. They know when you’ve made mistakes or haven’t been able to iron out some operational details, especially if some bigger changes are coming. They may not know the details, but I guarantee they sense a shift in the overall dynamic and company culture.
You can gaslight them with fake positivity and risk alienating them forever (damaging your reputation in the process), or you can acknowledge the reality somebody is already experiencing in their day-to-day, earning their trust and as a result their respect and loyalty.
Contrary to what you’ve been told, vulnerability and leadership don’t mutually exclude one another. Instead, vulnerability can help you become the best leader someone’s ever had.
Faking strength and positivity isn’t what true leadership is about. True leadership means finding the best way to take care of your team — and that way is almost always through honesty and authenticity.
