Too many people go about networking the wrong way. They show up to these events, and the biggest question on their mind is: “How can I find somebody who can do something for me?”
Once upon a time, I was the same way. When I first started Crisp, I went to every networking event I could find. “40 under 40,” entrepreneur meetups, startup gatherings: Atlanta had them all, and I was front and center at all of them, making connections, handing out and collecting cards, doing what every business leader is told to do.
But the more events I went to, the more I realized something: it was all fake.
Nobody really cared about anyone; everyone was broke and desperate, partaking in one giant business card exchange.
That’s when I realized that that kind of networking — the only kind we’re repeatedly told about and encouraged to do — doesn’t work. It’s transactional, shallow, and a waste of everyone’s time.
What does work? Forging real relationships and connections. And to do that, you have to stop going into the room, thinking, “What can I get from somebody?” And instead, think, “What can I do for somebody?”
These days, when I meet someone new, I don’t lead with my needs. I don’t pitch them on my business or try to maneuver the conversation to add what they can do for me. Instead, I ask myself, “How can I help this person?”
Maybe it’s introducing them to someone who can solve their biggest challenge. Maybe it’s referring to a client. Maybe it’s just listening long enough to understand what problem is keeping them up at night — and connecting them with the resource that fixes it.
And most importantly: I do it without expecting anything in return.
Because this type of networking isn’t about quid pro quo; it’s about building trust and creating real relationships.
Just this week, I met with someone I didn’t know very well. Instead of telling them all about me, I asked about their challenges and realized I knew someone who could help solve a major problem they were facing. So I connected them.
That’s it. No invoice. No “favor owed.” Just me wanting to be useful.
And here’s what always happens when you approach networking this way: it comes back around. Not always immediately or directly. Sometimes it’s three years later, or five. But when you make a habit of helping people without expectation, opportunities find their way back to you.
I’ve had people I helped long ago introduce me to someone years later who became one of our best hires, or refer us a client I never would’ve met otherwise, or open a door I didn’t even know existed.
Because when you help people from the goodness of your heart and with pure intentions, they see it. And it makes them want to help you wherever they can, without you having to ask.
That’s the real definition of networking. It’s not a numbers game, or how many cards you collect, or drinks you share. It’s about becoming valuable by making yourself useful.
If you’re the person who solves problems, connects people, and supports others without keeping score, you won’t need to chase opportunities. They’ll chase you.
So the next time you walk into a room full of “networkers,” don’t think about what you want to leave with. Think about who you can help.
That’s how you build relationships that last, grow a business, and turn networking from a pointless transaction into a powerful force.
