If you’ve ever talked about going into business with your spouse, you’ve probably had more than one person tell you it’s a terrible idea. They say it’s too risky, that mixing business with marriage is a recipe for disaster, that you’ll either lose your mind or your relationship (or both). They’re wrong. Working with your spouse can be one of the most rewarding experiences of your life. The caveat is that you have to do it right.
One of the biggest challenges of working with your spouse is delivering feedback. When you’re working with a regular team member, you can be direct, offer constructive criticism, and move on. But when that person is also your spouse? You have to criticize them and then go home together. That changes the game.
The last thing you want is work-related feedback spilling over into your personal life and creating unnecessary tension.
The first step to avoiding a disaster is choosing the right time. If you’re trying to give your spouse feedback while the kids are screaming, you’re running late, and your stress levels are high, you’re setting yourself up for failure. Timing matters. Instead of catching them off guard in the middle of chaos, set aside dedicated time to discuss work-related topics. Do it during business hours, in a calm environment where you can focus. That way, it stays professional and productive.
Remember, it’s not just what you say — it’s how you say it. If you come on too strong, your spouse might feel attacked and not hear a word you’re saying. So take the emotion out of it and present the feedback objectively. Stick to facts, data, and mutual goals. You’re on the same team. The goal isn’t to win an argument — it’s to grow together.
Sometimes, what looks like a mistake or misstep from your perspective might have a completely valid explanation. Instead of jumping straight into criticism, ask your spouse why they chose the approach they did. You may find a blind spot you hadn’t considered before. Seeking clarity instead of making assumptions can prevent unnecessary conflicts.
Setting boundaries is also a critical part of the work-marriage balance. It’s easy for work talk to dominate every aspect of your life. But if you’re constantly talking business — even during date night — you risk burning out both your relationship and your business. Instead, decide when work talk is appropriate and when it’s time to just be spouses. This balance is critical to keeping both aspects of your life healthy.
At the end of the day, don’t lose sight of the fact that you and your spouse started this venture together because you had a shared vision. Feedback isn’t about nitpicking but about improving and growing together. Keep your conversations focused on making the business (and your partnership) stronger. Align on your goals, support each other, and remember: you’re in this together.
It won’t be easy, but it doesn’t have to be a nightmare. The key is to communicate effectively, respect each other’s roles, and separate business from personal life. Deliver feedback thoughtfully, seek to understand, and always keep the big picture in mind. Do that, and not only will your business thrive — but your marriage will, too.
